As I get the first initial plunge into the void and get the under water sensation I begin to see notes that I would leave myself all over and all around me. The entire time tripping myself and a whole bunch of others I’ve encountered begin to try and explain how they feel endlessly while I keep it to myself mostly because it is too much to handle for others; or rather that’s how I feel when I’m under. I’ve simplified all of these feelings I go through with words and I say these words repeatedly like everyone else trying to explain how they feel. While my body goes on autopilot and speaks these words that my mind has come up with I am deep into my mind thinking and deciphering what these words mean to me. I try putting words to define what these feelings feel like and the closer I get to figuring out the words for it all I leave the finished product/definition that best explains it on the invisible “wall” in my mind. I guess that could be considered the text file that comes in a program folder or me just helping my future self. This is done so that when I feel that way again and I begin looking into my mind for an explanation of the feeling I have the answer presented to me on the “wall” so that I do not dwell on the thought too long. A huge problem we all have and that is more easily seen while I am in a high state is that we have trouble letting go. In the particular case of tripping thoughts are hard to let go. Dropping a thought that pops up while tripping can either grow or disappear and often times I find myself unable to think about something else. Everyone must be infected with that disease because everything everyone says is the aftermath and growth of a seed known as an idea and its just something hard to break out of no matter what the idea might be; good or bad.

Advertisements